!!Funny Jokes!!

all heroes...
this is my favorite Jokes...i cant remember all in this moment...
Hope you like it :

Glass of Water

A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"

The dad says, "No. You had your chance."

A minute later the boy screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"

The dad says, "No. You had your chance. Next time you ask, I'll come up there and spank you."

"Dad! When you come up to spank me, can you bring me a glass or water?"



When I remember some funny jokes i will put here more...

to be continued

i know one punch line and it works for anything..

""Bend over son this is going to hurt"".

"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

P.S. you've now given me an idea for a spin-off thread! w00t

Here's a joke o-o.... i remember i heard it from some person at school a few years back o-o...

Three people fell were dieing and saw a person from hell. The person from hell said "Do as I say or you'll go to hell!"
Not wanting to die, all three replied "Sure"
The person from hell said "Bring me three of any fruit then come back to recieve the second part."
So all three people went off to get some fruit.
---
The first person came back with three apples.
The person from hell said "Shove all of these apples down your throat without choking and you won't go to hell."
Of course, the first person choked, and went to hell.
He was soon joined by the second person and so they had a conversation in hell.
The first person asked "So what did you bring?"
The second person replied "Cherries....."
The first person was suprised and said "Cherries? but their easy to shove down your throat!"
The second person laughed and replied "I choked cause i was laughing too hard."
The first person, stood with a confused face and asked "Why were you laughing?"
The second person replied....
"Cause I saw the third person bring in watermellons."

A Aussie walks into a bar with
a pet crocodile by his side.

He puts the crocodile up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.

Then the croc will close his
mouth for one minute.

Then he'll open his mouth
and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this
spectacle,
each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
dropped his trousers,
and placed his credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth
as the crowd gasped.
After a minute,
the man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
crocodile really, really hard on the top of
its head

The croc opened his mouth
and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered,
and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.


The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.

A blonde woman timidly
Spoke up ...
"I'll try it —
Just don't hit me so hard
with the beer bottle!"